I have a friend who keeps wanting me to go to restaurants or coffee shops. I hate restaurants. I’m tempted to have pumpkin bread at the coffee shop. I don’t like food that costs double what it should be and isn’t all that good.
Yesterday was the last straw. On the way to meet a friend, I lost my phone, so I returned to the last place I knew I had it. I found it in the street, thankfully not run over. I was in a panic the whole time, stressed to the max. And why… to meet someone I really didn’t want to see who is fat, lazy, and has no ambition to go walking with me, (which was the original plan, but she wanted to eat food).
I arrived late, and by then she was gone. A sense of relief enveloped me when I realized, I don’t have to face her, explain the trauma I experienced, and eat the calories I didn’t want.
Then I thought… hey, I could have said “No” right off the bat and not gone through any of this. And she would feel hurt…. but oh, not hurt enough to get off her lazy patootie and walk with me in a park. Somehow I have this sense of guilt that I have to hang onto friends that I have nothing in common with and so the cycle has been continuing. Now that I’m older, I see how futile living this way is and destructive to my own spirit.
So this is where I am at… I’ll say no. And say yes to my own life. And lose a friend or two. And have a more sane life. And be healthier. And be in better shape. And be happier. And maybe make a friend who will walk with me.